Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Randomize
