i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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