he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Randomize
