drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Randomize
