Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
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