ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
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