Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
