I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
is it fun? or sober?
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
