I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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