we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
