You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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