Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize
