Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
