well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
