He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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