Where did you get a picture of my penis
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
