If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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