Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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