do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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