i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Randomize
