White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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