you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Randomize
