I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Randomize