Pregnant stripper...not hot.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
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