no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Randomize
