don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
