Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
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