Your dad touched me again.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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