Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Swine flu. Run for my life!
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Randomize
