Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Randomize
