is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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