After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
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