my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
Come see our sink grown plant.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Randomize
