sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
I want her autograph on my taint
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
