Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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