youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
