no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Randomize
