I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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