i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
