Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Randomize
