My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize