We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
