You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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