the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
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