john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I just gargled with NyQuil
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Randomize
