I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
