i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize
