Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
i love accidental penises.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
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