We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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