not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
