Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I have tasted many bathrooms
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Randomize
