We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
Randomize
