It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
