My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
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