well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
