used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
