i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
We are two peas in an std pod
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Randomize
