OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize
