With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize