She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
