oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Randomize
