she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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